Current mood:

amused

OBJECTION! to bakuretsu10shi's defence!
 



?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: You should send Phoenix Games an email. 

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: OBJECTION!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Maybe thats how they get inspiration!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: I wonder why they haven't made an Ace Attorney game yet. It's a bad sign for the company when (I'm checking now) no one wants to torrent your games.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: I recommend the game title be Ace At Turney! -- Help Ace, wannabe lawyer for innocent criminals and mafia bosses, as he meanders through his budding career at Turney Courts while his childhood rival Blue, the best persecuter in town, fights him at every turn! Collect all the witnesses and never forget to fight justice!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "The best persecuter"! YES YES YES! I cannae ...stop ....laughing...

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Innocent mafia bosses!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: "It is OBVIOUS they are INNOCENT," said Ace. "Mario "The Butcher" Lambogeeni would NEVER hurt a fly if it was flying BEYOND the reach of his beefy arms!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Arguments like this are how Ace will become the best defendant ever in Turney!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: That was the best option of the three choices!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Indeed!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Ace's typical workday = loitering around Turney Courts.

9 am - Ace goes into the lift, then randomly chooses a button.

11 am - Turns out he's been riding the lift up and down for the past one hour and a half.
(He got distracted for half an hour by the shiny button on his lapel so he had to go into the cleaning closet for a bit to properly admire it.)

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: (That's a minigame.)

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: ACE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE CLOSET??? BLUE IS AT THE COURTROOM NOW!



?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: ...said his beautiful assistant, the slightly psychic Christian agnostic, Maggie, who thinks her dead sister Mara possesses her every night to go gallivanting with Mario and Bros.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Then begins a new minigame when you have to open the doorknob. Without being smacked in the head by inconveniently placed cleaning implements in the darkness.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Maggie helps Ace find nonimportant courtroom details to stumble Blue with. She is annoying but very sexy.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: But one day Ace injures his arm in a tragic reading accident! Will even Maggie's mastery over red tape be enough to stop Blue now?

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: How will Ace win arguments with red tape alone? Will poor Mario be sent to jail by the villainous Blue?

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Play the next stage, Red vs. Blue, to find out!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: (Plot twist: Ace learns how to point with his other arm! So the following cut scene has a Mysterious Masked Man injuring Ace's other arm.)

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: So Ace has to find a prosthetic robot arm from Dr. Oriam. Which sets up the final stage - Ace At Turney: The Long Arm of the Law!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Alternatively, the trick is to find Ace's ace-in-the-hole, Mario's pet pinkachoo "Peaches", which had run away from the scene of the crime when the murder of Bowzzer Bowls took place. Peaches saw the true face of the killer, and it WASN'T Mario!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Ah, the twists and turns of this game.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "So. Gentlemen. LADIES. Blue has used EVERY trick in the book to persuade you ALL that my client KILLED the dearly departed Bowls. POSITIVE DNA matching. FINGERPRINT samples. SWORN testimony from a member of the Most Holly Order of the Sacred Woods. A LOGICAL layout of how my client has PROFITED from the sale of illegal mushrooms now that Bowls is deceased."

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "All UNDERHANDED and slimy TRICKS, those!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "And USELESS!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "!!!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "For I have saved THIS for last!"

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: <cue dramatic music>

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: *flourishes*

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: *whisks cloth off birdcage*

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: *Blue's smirking face turns pale*

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "For here is PEACHES! Bowzzer's OWN pinkachoo! She was the LAST PERSON to see Bowser alive! And she gazed upon the VERY FACE of his TRUE KILLER!" 

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Blue: "Im ...Impossible!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: *court gasps*

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Blue: "Objection, your Honour. This witness was not included in the list we had agreed on!"

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: <Ace shakes head, smiling>

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "Now TELL EVERYONE! TELL EVERYONE who murdered Bowzzer!"

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: *game crashes* OUTOFFDAOUTOUTATAOFFataERR

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Unfortunately this was the last ever installment of Ace At Turney. =(

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: WHO KILLED BOWSER BOWLS???

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: haha classic.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Yes, the series became a cult classic.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: And is held up, even today, as a misunderstood gem which showcases the brilliance and metalevel game design philosophy of Phoenix Games.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Numerous fan theories naturally have tried to pinpoint mafiaso Mario as the murderer. This is because Bowzzer's remains show signs of trauma consistent with Mario's odious operandi

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: viz: third degree burns, boot prints over the torso, and skull fractures which appear to have been caused by contact with a heavy but soft object.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Nah, too obvious.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: The geniuses at Phoenix would never do something so obviously superficial!

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Other fans prefer an alternative explaination - that the courtroom scene was all a huge drama set up by Blue in an attempt to get Ace out of the closet. They point to the presence of the Godot figure as a Bretchian acknowledgment of the artificiality of the so-called 'court' setting, and further argue that glaring inaccuracies (how is Maggie able to function without her mushrooms? how is it that Blue is initially holding up a placard saying "I love you, Ace!")  make a straight reading of the court scene impossible, or at least hard to swallow.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: But alas! we will never know!

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: As the creator of the series became disillusioned with his marvelous story and went back to creating less popular but "honest" games like Iron Chief, Cooking Master Mama, and Furry Tales 4 - Return of the Wolves.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: That said, there was a glimmer of hope when they adapted "The Mona Lisa Mysteries", and turned its protagonists, Nancy Draw and Jeff Hardy, into a paranormal investigation term.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: A term? Hahahhaha.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: I...I meant 'a tern'.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: They turned it into a term cos the names were copyrighted, and had no choice but to make oblique references to them, such as bypassing the use of a spacebar altogether: Nancydrawandjeffhardy.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: For Phoenix Games was just fresh off the success of Furry Tales 0 (a prequel which details the dark days of the Fursecution), and wanted to reuse art assets in loving homage to their magnum opus.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Indeed, The Mona Lisa Mysteries recieved praise for its unrelentingly accurate portrayals of squamous horrors, and multilayered plotline which drew the Vatican, car crashes, and a mystical 'Gold Compass' into a coherent whole. 

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: OMG hahaha. This is a multi-galaxy game; multiverse doesn't cut it anymore.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: The retro-inspired mise-en-scene also recieved praise, with the slow transformation of Nancy and Jeff's MYSTERY-MACHINE into the MYSTERY GEAR SOLID being interpreted as 'an uncompromising vision of the future'. Sir Father Patrick McKellen's final speech was also hailed as 'a defining moment in the "The Mona Lisa Mysteries" movie genre'.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: "I have seen things ...you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-Beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate All those moments... will be lost... in time, like tears... in the rain.Time... to die...."

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: The Mona Lisa Mystery was known for its secret ending, which required the player to collect all the Ban Drown tomes hidden in the Vatican. In this ending, all the unexplained hauntings were revealed to have been Father McKellen all along.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: (He was hiding under a sheet, and had a Walkman which made spooky 'woo-woo' noises.)

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: Understandably, this plot twist was not well-received by the gaming community, which demanded the  more modest, more reality-based science of Cooking Master's Mama and Sleep Walker 2.

one hundred =^..^= s of solitude says: The Mona Lisa Mysteries franchise was discontinued. Yet, a glimmer of hope. Recent revisionist scholarship resoundingly agrees that 'The Mona Lisa Mysteries' is the best entry in 'The Mona Lisa Mysteries' canon.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: >_<

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: My goodness.

?CHERYL?   falling down; is all that I've ever known says: Sounds like a game I wouldn't mind downloading off piratebay to try!